Monday, October 5, 2009

IM INCAPABLE.
IM UNCERTAIN.
IM CHILDISH.
IM NOT INDEPENDANT.
IM A SHOPAHOLIC.
IM HATING THIS WORD CALL RELIGION.
I DO NOT BELIEVE THERE'S TRUE LOVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE.
IM IN A TIME WHERE LOVE IS SCARCE.
IM NOT CONFIDENT.
I DONT HAVE CONFIDENCE.
I FEEL HOPELESS BEYOND HELP.
SO MUCH OF NEGATIVITY WITHIN ME.
SO MANY LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS CRUMBLING AROUND ME.
I FEEL SO MUCH SCARED AND INSECURE ABOUT MINE.
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE WE BOTH ARE FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIONS.
HE SIMPLY CAN SAY HE WILL BREAK UP WITH ME WHEN I SAY SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM SOOO ANNOYED.
IF U LOVE SOMEONE SOO MUCH BEYOND WORDS...EVEN IF E PESON IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF ANNOYING.U WILL NEVER LEAVE HER IF U ACTUALLY REALLY LOVE HER.
HE FRANKLY TOLD ME TODAY THAT IM HIS 1ST GF WHO IS SO MUCH IRRITATING.
NICE RITE.
YA ITS TRUE.
I ACCEPT IT.
IM VERY MUCH INSECURE.
IM AFRAID THAT HE WILL LEAVE ME AND GO.WITH SOME OTHER BETTER GAL.
GUYS.
ESPECIALLY THE ONES NOWADAYS.
WELL HE SAYS HE FEELS I WILL BE THE ONE WHO WILL LEAVE HIM AND GO.
YA...LIKE REAL.
I KNOW MYSELF...EVEN IF I SAY NEGATIVE STUFF TO HIM...I WILL NEVER NEVER LEAVE HIM N GO.NEVER.OVER MY DEAD BODY.
IM A DIE HARD LOVER.
IF I LOVE U...THEN TERS NO OTHER.EVEN IF HE'S WAY BETTER IN MANY WAYS.
MORE LIKE HE WILL LEAVE ME N GO.THE PERSON SAYIN THAT I WILL IS MORE LIKELY TO DO THE LEAVING.
I FEEL SO NEGATIVE.
I DONT KNOW WAT TO THINK.
I FEEL LIKE ENDING MY RELATIONSHIP N SPARING HIM N ME THE AGONY.
I FEEL IM HIS MOST WORST GF.
I FEEL SO MUCH UNCERTAIN OF THIS RELATIONSHIP.
I JUST DONT WANT TO BE HEARTBROKEN AT THE END OF THE DAY.
RELATIONSHIPS ARE UNPREDICTABLE.
UNLESS THEY....HAIIZZZ I DUNNO.
WAT SHD I DO...???
OH GOD.
IM SO USELESS.
JUST TAKING UP SPACE.
I SUCK AT RELATIONSHIP.
I SUCK AT BEING A GD GF.
I SUCK AT MAKING MY BF SAVE MONEY.
ZANITTA U SUCK.

Labels: FEELING SO DOWN.

6:32 AM,
another day gone

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Labels: Zany=)

6:00 AM,
another day gone

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Went to see my baby afteR 4 miserable days of not being able to see him.

Labels: zanYasH

11:15 AM,
another day gone

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

YesteRday SUCKED.
TODAY SUCKED EVEN MORE!!!
I cant find solace in anything.
Feeling so down and uneasy.
Everything pertaining to me n my life seem so so complicated!!
I LOVE MY MUM ALOT.
Today i was so mean to her.
I was moody and still kinda angry with her for not giving me some $ i asked her.
I didnt talk to her the whole day.
Haiiizzz i feel so much horrible about it.
I was just daammm bloody MOODY N EMO.
Haiiiz.
Life seem so Fucked up to me.
LOVE.
MONEY.
EMOTIONS.
FAMILY.
LIFE.
WANTS.
DISLIKES.
COMPLICATIONS.
CONFUSIONS.
PARANOIA.
TEARS.
FEAR.
GOD.
I just wish I could get away for awhile.
Go somewhere peaceful for a few days.
I just wanna be HAPPY ALL E WAY.
HAIIz.
Thats so impossible.
As if my family will let me go on a holiday on my own.
IN MY FREAKIN DREAMS.
They will FREAK.
FURTHERMORE,ITS ME!!
I just want some peace and happiness. N0 complications and uncertainties at all.
My boyfriend didn't help improve my mood either.
He didn't say anything wrong.
I just felt damm annoyed when he keep pushing me to go for the wedding in mSia that i was supposed go.
I can get my hair done there for half price too.
I want to curt my hair and dyed it.
Here is kinda expensive...KIMAGE...DUH.
Everything in Spore is freakin expensive!!
Why wasnt I a RICH BITCH!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DAM FRUSTRATED!!!!!
I just feel so angry!!
After our short convo just nw which didnt end well.
Till now I have not msged him at all.
I dunno I just feel angery and fustrated.
I miss him...NM.
I very much pissed with him because he didnt say anything about meeting later today.
Today and tommorow are his off days.
I feel like he dosent feel like seeing me.
Its been 4 days since we saw each other!!!!
To me its BIG!!
ARGH.
Since he never utter a word about meeting.
FINE I wont say anything either.
If he dosent feel like seeing me...same here...(so untrue.zany ur a LIER.haiiizz I SO WANNA SEE HIM!!)
Still Im not gonna utter a word.
Lets see if he says something.
I dun think I will msg him either.
This horrible mood is still here with me.
IDIOT dosent miss me as much I miss him.
BLOODLY HELL.
WATEVA LA!!!!
Later today I might go hangout with Hairun...go starBucks and talk cock.
Atleast my mood will lift up abit.
Stayin home wont HELP.
Zanitta what the hell is wrong with you!!!!????

Labels: hurt n paiN.

11:10 AM,
another day gone

Im fed up.
Why wasnt I born with a Golden spoon!!
Haiiizzz...the thought of going to work....SUCKS.
I noe Im sounding like a spoiled lazy brat.
I cant help it.
I HATE LABOUR.
Me wanting alot of stuff is so not helping!!
Im 20 and Im still asking my Family for $$!!
SHAME ON YOUR SELF ZANY!!!
LOL.
Haiiizzz
Guess I have to find sm kind of work....for my needs.
I cant be so self centered and ask my Hub Hub to take care of ALL my needs.
Thats very selfish of me.
Hmmmm.....
LABOUR.
Currently this bag is on my mind...futhermore its having a 50% discount.
I HAVE TO BUY IT!!!!
&
I saw this gorgeous sHirt in G2ooo Men.
Its Turquoise and white striped.
It will look so HOT on my MaN.
I HAVE TO BUY THAT FOR HIM******
& Zany WILL.

Labels: GoldeN spOOn..

12:05 AM,
another day gone

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Labels: LoVe it LOtS

11:47 AM,
another day gone

Ashwin Chandrasekhar*Judith Zanitta John
~ZaNyAsH~

8 jUNe 2009
The day we were a CoupLe.
The day we kissed each other.
The day I got a beautiful RoSe from hiM.
The day he became MINE.

We met in Tagged.
Chatted in MsN.
TaLked alot on the Phone for Long HouRs.
FeLL in LovE.

I loVe him for having so muCh patience with me.
Enduring and ToleRating my screwed up attitude and many stupidities.
I was so much ANNOYING N IRRITATING.
I LOVE U BABY foR stiLL LOVING ME SO MUCH DESPITE My many Flaws.
For giVing me so many chances.
For pointing out my flaws.
Advising and eNcouraging me.
Buying for me everything I want.
MOst oF all for NOT GIVING UP ON ME.
Accepting Me.
I LOVE U.
Ur the bestest thing in my LIfe.
I will cherish you.
I will not say dumb things to make matters worse...as I always do.
I will not spoil things.
Sometimes even without me knowing I tend to say screwed up stuff.
But Baby U noE I LOVE U SOOOOO MUCH BeyOnd WoRds.

Labels: LovE u Baby.

11:19 AM,
another day gone